Saddened by this World

I know I sometimes come off a little too blunt (I say straightforward) or perhaps standoffish (cautious and observant, in my mind); maybe my overly efficient East Coast roots are misinterpreted. The thing is, those who judge me, don't really know me. I didn't really have the easiest life ever. So I might be guarded or protective of those I care about. I don't apologize. But the truth is I am Pollyanna at heart. I truly believe in the good. Feel-good movies, or even that Kleenex commercial, can make me cry. I like something about everyone I meet.  Even if someone is a complete jerk to me, I pause to think about what they might be going through that makes me the recipient of their anger, and usually give them a pass. You don't know a person until you walk in their shoes. So it might surprise you that the news might break me down.

Over a month ago, my friend shared her friend's link to row4row.org on Facebook. Jenn Gibbons' charity, Recovery on Water is a support group for women cancer survivors who row. When I first heard of Jenn, I was jealous. She was doing something I hope to someday do, give my support to those trying to kick cancer. I lost my mom to cancer. And even though I know she would never have been interested in rowing, every survivor has something that gets them through. I became addicted to her blog about her journey. I began to get this feeling that was feeding my spirit.

Mid-June, Jenn set out to row the 1500-mile perimeter of Lake Michigan, solo. She had a handy GPS so you could follow her progress. This served her well - so many supporters offering a bed or a clean shower or oar to the city upon her arrival at the various ports. Despite some terrible weather, she kept going. Read her blog; you can feel the challenge she was up against - you can hear and see it too!

She was forced to take an unplanned break last week when her grandmother passed away. That post made me sob. It made me miss my family in a deep and profound way.  I felt connected to her. Back on track, she was set to row to Beaver Island, MI early Sunday morning when she was attacked and sexually assaulted by a man believed to have tracked her and traveled to do this to her...in her boat. Her 700-lb vehicle of miracles.

MI/IL/WI people - be on the lookout for a yellow jeep, smiley wheel cover; more info here: row4row.org/?p=2142 and the Chicago Tribune article

Last week we all mourned for the people of Aurora, Co. We still do. A friend of mine calls Aurora home, and in fact went to the batman midnight show opening...thankfully at a different theater in town. She and her family are okay.

I have a tough time with events such as these. This guy in CO wasn't crazy, he had a very well thought out plan to kill people, and the police who tracked him. Jenn's creep is believed to have traveled a long distance to harm her...who knows what is going through his mind. What has happened to our world?

But, tonight, I am seeing no good in these people, I am no Pollyanna. They both made calculated decisions to carry out these acts. Senseless violence. It sickens me. It angers me. More than that, it makes me sad. And frankly, I have had enough sad around me.

When senseless tragedy happens, I first get thankful I don't have kids. And then I think about my niece and nephew. And I get sad all over again.

I hope that these criminals are brought to justice. I wish Jenn the strength to continue on her journey, but i don't blame her if she can't. More than that, I hope she gets some form of protection so she can continue without fear. I can't imagine being out there alone after someone tries to steal your spirit like that. From everything I know of her, she won't be stopped that easily...

I started this post last night. Since then, the news of her attack has been plastered all over the news. This guy is not going to get away. And, as for Jenn, I was right. Here are excerpts from her post today:

"I still believe that there are more good people in the world than bad."

"I still believe that life is a gift, even when it’s scary and unfair. I still believe that life offers us the privilege, the opportunity, and the responsibility, to give something back, even when people try to take things away from us."

"Regarding the trip, one thing hasn’t changed: I’ve still got this. But the trip plan will change in a few ways to ensure my safety."

"Most importantly, I will no longer be alone."

Jenn, you are an inspiration to every human. You are a leader. You have changed me.